If I’m
having a rough day, I might unwisely decide to assign blame to someone or
something for my own shortcomings. Sometimes I think,Who is to blame for my alcoholism? Is it…. my work, my parents, those friends,
stress, abuse, God, resentment, the devil, my spouse, money? ME? I would rather find fault with the substance.
It’s an easy thing to blame. If it
weren’t for the alcohol, I would be fine. I would be loving, fun, and
successful. Alcohol pulled me and still
sometimes taunts me. So I lash back and
hate it, knowing that it is a thing that does not have its own power. I look for new blame. Finally, I remember
again that this is a disease. It has
been proven. Now there is something
worthy of blame; the illness of addiction. It’s a terrible thing. While I was drinking, I would see others who
were sober and free and wonder, how can they
make it in sobriety while I am still struggling? I’m not as spiritual or grounded as them. No. Comparison and self-blame never work. We’ve
been told not to enter that thinking alone.
There is no productive or positive thing about self-deprecation; unless
we can be objective. NOT. I turn into a whiner. OK then. God is to blame because HE made me this
way. He could’ve prevented this
alcoholism before I took my first drink at the age of six. After that, it was too late. After that I always
sought more alcohol. I just can’t go
there. I can’t blame a loving God. God is blamed for many things in this fallen
world. It is an evil time. But He is not evil. He gave us this world of free choice. What if He hadn’t given me free choice? If I couldn’t choose life then it wouldn’t be
life. I was given choices many times after the age of six. The choosing is at fault. God will always
hear me and bring good to me if I choose Him. Whew! I made it out of that scavenger hunt of blame
again…. for now.