Sobriety involves re-learning how to think. Resentments have not allowed me to have
accurate perceptions. Resentment keeps me centered on me and my hurts. I recognize that feelings put me in escape mode. Alcohol was where I chose
to go to when I wanted to dump the feelings.
I used to think that I only drank because I loved the buzz. Then I decided that I drank because I was an
alcoholic. Though that is true, I have
noticed that those dangerous thought patterns of anger and unresolved bitterness
were what truly kept me drinking. People lovingly tried to explain this to me, but I didn’t
listen. I didn’t want to believe that I was
that immature. Harboring grudges is what
first graders do.
What is the cure for resentment? Gratitude. It is
the opposite of resentment. It allows me
to see that I may have played a part in a hurtful situation. What is my
part? To whom do I owe an amend? Can I learn
to forgive? This is where God has helped me. It involves discipline, which I have little of. But God reminds me of what is
accurate; Is that true that you are not
valued? Was that unfair or just a simple mistake? Why do you feel that way? You can turn this
around if you show care and concern for them… Do you see that they were
uncomfortable and embarrassed?..…
Now I can see from God’s eyes of gratitude; I appreciate that person. Her motive was to help.
She has benefited me greatly and I was not receptive. I will let her know
that.
Wow! When I listen I start
to gain some freedom.