When I was drinking, I believed I was entitled
to my self-centered desires. I had unique
problems. I was a unique problem. I even enjoyed creating drama. At other times, I didn’t even realize that I
was affecting others by my freakish control issues.
I hate to admit that I can still slink back
into entitlement after 11 years of recovery.
The other day a grocery store had run out of a sale item that I really
wanted. I opened my mouth to ask the
cashier if there were rainchecks. I
found myself rapidly firing angry words at her.
It’s Monday! How can you be out on
the beginning day of the sale? Now I have to waste time going to other
stores to find these spices!
As I drove
home, I felt the guilt and remorse of my lack of control. I couldn’t believe that I had hurt an
innocent individual because I was slightly inconvenienced. I had behaved as if
I were entitled to have everything go my way with no thought of others.
Thankfully,
I have the cashier’s name on my receipt.
I will find her and apologize. In addition, I will make amends by
setting a goal to go out of my way to be empathetic and kind to cahiers from
now on. However I can’t take back those
accusatory words that I spoke to the innocent young woman.
God help me
I humbly ask you, God, to remove my
shortcomings of entitlement and angry responses. (Step 7, AA)