I think pride is my worst enemy. Pride continues to be an
enemy in sobriety. Thinking I can do
things better on my own than with help has been my downfall. I need God’s help and He sends helpful people
my way. He plants them in my path on
purpose. I can easily decide that I don’t have time for the very things that I need
in order to stay spiritually healthy. For
example, it is time consuming to go to AA meetings and to help other alcoholics.
However, these things keep me closer to humility. Realizing that I need others and
I need God every day is still a stretch for me. But may I never forget that
again.
Pride was a major reason to start drinking in my case. I knew that I should not drink because I
could not stop whenever I did. However, I thought that I could drink and maintain
my life. I believed I had the power and self-awareness
to be a functioning and successful alcoholic. What gave me that idea? Pride. I was
doing well. I had decided that the pride of being well thought of was most important.
Fear of peoples' opinions became God to me. I strove to do well to impress others. As I followed
that desire, I lost sight of my neediness.
I lost sight of my major weakness.
Since I was doing so well in the eyes’ of others, I was persuaded that I could also
manage alcohol. As a matter of fact, I actually came to believe that alcohol
was giving me energy to do even more good
work.
In the end, the very thing I craved, which was to look
impressive to others, was the very thing I lost. I lost all respect from others
and from myself. Alcoholism won. Pride won. I lost.
