Comparison. Who is the best or most worthy? I still get hung up on it sometimes. I struggle to see that there is no favoritism
with God. But I have always thought that God preferred
others over me. I had messed up so I
would be rejected. Even before I started
drinking, I believed that I was loved less. I was not worthy of God’s love
because I was not as wise, as holy, as competent, or as dependable. I deserved to be loved... yet I was
unworthy. False perception of inequalities brought resentment.
In part this
was why I drank and in part this kept me drinking. When I wanted to get sober, I thought God
would never help me because I had turned to sin. He wouldn’t want me again if I
did get sober. It was a self-fulfilling situation. I wasn’t loved as much so I drank and then I
wasn’t loved or wanted because I was
a drunk. I listened to the evil voice that said, God
will never want you again. He loves them more!
The enemy had me believing those lies for a long while. But I dug my way out. I still get my shovel and dig some days. You can too. God loves me... period. He loves you... period. He
does not make comparisons... period.
