Alcoholism
was a seed planted by the enemy at an early age. I had recognized that years ago; Every time I
drank I ended up drunk because I couldn’t stop.
So, I put the alcohol away. But I never committed to my total defeat. I
always wondered if I would be able to drink someday… It was comparable to
putting a poisonous snake in a box and sitting on the lid. I sat there holding the lid down for many
years. I believed I had trained the
snake to stay in the box. It would never
come out now and if it did, it would not bite me. I was older and wiser
now. I wandered away from the discipline
of avoiding alcohol. I began to
experiment with alcohol on the weekends at first. It was just as I believed it would be; I
can certainly drink now. The alcoholism
has left! Things really have changed. Maybe I'm delivered. Now I was happy
and free when I drank. I was no longer a
drunk every time I drank. I was
functioning and I was living an amazing life... The next
thing I knew, I was driving my car in a blackout. I found myself with my head
on the steering wheel, sitting in the middle of someone’s yard. There were
muddy skid marks all over the grass.
I recognized
that the serpent was loose again, but it was too late. His cunning voice had convinced
me I was okay. He was leading me around. I was bitten. I longed for the time
each day that I could be with the poisonous reptile. It was alive after all. Nothing else mattered anymore. The serpent had grown wiser and
stronger each day in the box. I was beaten.
