Drinking taught me to ignore things. I would ignore my own hunger or my own pain. Alcohol
was most important. I would ignore my
mother, my pastor, or my friends. Yes, even my husband. And I probably ignored my kids, even though I
never intended to. Those lost opportunities became common. The ignoring behaviors eventually became habits.
The other day I didn’t hear someone say hello. This person let me know that I had been so
deep in thought that I didn’t hear her greeting. I couldn’t believe it. Could it be that
neglectful behaviors learned while drunk are still with me? They became so entrenched
that I still carry them out today. Do I
sometimes ignore people I care about without realizing it? Hasn’t sobriety
restored that pattern yet? I think the
answer is no. Sobriety itself doesn’t heal my character issues or old behaviors. I can’t fix them, but I refuse to beat myself up about these things.
Mistakes are opportunities to receive kind correction.
Mistakes are opportunities to love myself, with or without change. Unconditional love is what births freedom. That’s
what God says about it.
