Made a decision to turn our will and
our life over to the care of God as we understand Him. (Step 3, AA) I like to use present
tense in step 3 because I’m always stretching to understand God more fully.
I do not understand many things. That is the
point. The important thing is to make the decision and the choice to follow Him
instead of me. Why is that still so hard?
I like control. But control is messy
because of the understanding part. If I
don’t understand then I don’t want to give up control. I understand some things
better today than I did when I got sober such as the idea I need people. People
help me realize that I don’t have all the answers. Those with only a little
sobriety can help me remember that helplessness is only a few steps away if I rely on me and my alcoholic will.
I understand
some things less than I did when I got sober such as why do I have to keep
going to these silly meetings forever? When I start questioning that, I just get in my car
and go to the meeting. I always find out
when I arrive why I’m there. It usually
has to do with my own understanding. My
own understanding has to be challenged and stretched. If not, I don’t grow and thrive; I get stagnant.
The peace that passes all understanding
will guard my heart and mind through Christ. (Phil. 4:7)
The understanding
always comes later.