When I first
became sober, I had few choices. It was
important that I did what I was told. I
had gone so low in my humiliating behaviors that I couldn’t think for
myself. I relied on both professional
and personal resources to give me directions and guidance. As the years have
gone by, I see that I can now make decisions and that I have choices because I have
stayed sober. However, because I don’t have to listen to others for guidance, I
find myself becoming detached. I can be
independent. I don’t need others. Vulnerability
is a choice. Humility is a choice. Where is the balance? I have to go back to the beginning of
sobriety and remember that I never would have stayed sober without
accountability. You can’t be both accountable
and detached. So now I realize that
though I have choices, I still require attitude check-ups, and though I hate
feeling bossed around by other people’s
opinions, sometimes I do need advice. I am grateful that I have God and I have Godly
friends. Otherwise, where would I be?
All things are new, but I have to allow my past and the past of others to teach me wisdom.
