When I was
working 55+ hours a week, I used to tell myself to go on a pretend vacation when I wasn’t working. It worked. I thought I
deserved a break so I was able to relax.
Now that I’m not working, it is very difficult to rest.
I’m finding
that only God can quiet that never ending motor that runs in my head. Do, do,
do, do, do… Be, be, be, be, be… BE
SOMETHING. Am I trying to make up for those lost years; the waste of
dwindling my time away in drunkenness?
Here I am
again at the place of self-condemnation. As addicts, we are told that this
anxiety is all normal. Stay on meds for
the rest of your life. I don’t
accept that.
Here is my
answer for today. Do, do, do believe
that there is now no condemnation to me because I am in Christ. Be, be, be transformed by the renewing of my mind
that I may prove what is that good, acceptable and perfect will of God. How
will I do that? WAIT. Just wait and the
answers come. They really do. There is an invisible thread connecting my
thoughts and actions with God when I wait for Him.
