She wanted
quick happiness. Even more, she desired to escape from difficulty and pain. Seeking relief through pleasure became an
obsession. That driving quest to follow
pleasure took over completely. Numbness, debauchery, self-centeredness, and
yet, self-loathing.
The way down is a steep, quick thrill. But then there is nothing of true value. She
didn’t know that it would become a dead end and she would be empty. That is because her purposeful life was left
behind. She didn’t even realize that she blocked out real love. Where did it
go?
There is no
life when you get to the bottom. She was deceived by the deceiver. Remorse
shows up.
The road
back up is slow and measured. It is
filled with what ifs and rehearsal of
admittance, apologies for failure and offenses.
However, the way back up turns out to be enlightening, even hopeful. The upward
trail requires learning to take small steps of trust. Letting go of guilt is actually possible. Humiliation can be turned into a humble heart.
Loving self and others will happen again. Keep going. It gets better. It surpasses expectations.
