My idea of success has changed and continues to change. When
I was first sober, that was success; stay sober. It was a mountain. Then
success became living life again without the crutch of alcohol. I learned to
become responsible at work and in relationships. I learned to wait for things instead
of impatiently rage about them. Material things were important badges of
success for a while. But those things created an overworked, overtired, insensitive,
and unhappy me.
After twelve years in sobriety, success is proving to be the
immeasurable things. Houses, jobs, recognition, and material gain are not so important. Spending time with kids, grand kids, or friends is more
important to me than cleaning, resting, vacationing, making money, or shopping. Why is that?
I think close relationships are a priority because they are gratifying. That day of babysitting grand kids still
appears gratifying in hind sight the following week. But it is even more gratifying to think about
the following year or the next decade. The memories and the importance of the
relationship grows more valuable over time.
Relationships are eternal. Even
when people die, the effects of the relationship continue forever.
When people ask me what I am doing now that I’ve retired, I
don’t always want to answer. The things
I am spending my time on don’t sound impressive or successful. What if I said that I am learning to be nice
to me? Wow. That’s pretty selfish.
But being good to me is part of true success. Honesty, too is important.
It is a first step towards pure motives.
As an alcoholic I never knew how to be honest with myself or kind to
myself. Both are part of successful living for me.
Volunteering is good but it is only good if I first let God
give me purpose for interactions and love for others. It’s pretty hard to give
to others something that I don’t have. If I don’t love at home, I probably won’t
love outside of home either.
Success, I believe, is acquiring, and hopefully giving away
the fruit of the spirit.
“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience,
kindness goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control”. Gal. 5:22
