Step 11 in addiction recovery is about improving our conscious contact
with God and asking Him for help in carrying this out. I realize that I truly do need God’s help in
communicating with God. If I try to talk
with God without His help, I usually fail. That is because He knows me
already. He formed me and He knows what I’m
thinking before I think it. Only He can explain Himself to me in a way that
lets me know He gets me. He knows that sometimes I am low on faith and I need
to hear His voice. I might feel lonely and He comforts me with a song. When I lack strength, God sends help in the
form of a friend. If I question his
decision, God doesn’t pull away or get His feelings hurt. He explains Himself. Sometimes I just listen instead of talk. Sometimes
I try too hard to be good and he says, Stop
it. I’ll help if you let me. Other times I put myself down and He says, I’m proud of you. I say “I’m afraid.” He says, Fear not. You are mine. Other times He
listens and I do all the talking. When I’m
done, I feel heard. Quiet is okay with
me because it’s okay with Him. I’ve learned not to try and manipulate God into
being nice to me. He just is nice. That’s
who He is. Even when I’ve been disappointing to God through selfishness or
anger, He doesn’t judge or even correct me.
He just loves. For me, communication with God has been learned by letting
Him show me who He is. He already knows me. He even helps me understand me.
