Faith is an important part of recovery from substance
abuse. It takes faith to listen while
praying. It takes faith to agree that I
need to change. It takes faith to admit the screw ups. Recently I noticed that
faith is even more than that. Faith
includes believing. If I truly believe, then I become motivated. Believing means I become willing to say I will. I will think better of myself. I
will believe I can feel differently. I don’t have to sit by and feel
resentful. I can be willing to ask why. I can be willing to listen to wise
advice. My choices can be to talk about unresolved issues and to dig down to
the bottom of the barrel for uncomfortable memories. I can choose to do things I
don’t want to do, such as ask for help. I can choose to take responsibility for
hurts I cause others and for my lack of sensitivity. I can choose to cast aside
selfish ambition and to take interest in others. Choosing is willingness in
action. As I move forward, I find myself believing that it is possible for me
to change. My feelings do not have to hold me captive. I can believe for transformation. I can
choose to do something about my icky feelings toward myself and others. I may have
to give up my right to be right this time. I may even have to change my
expectations and desires. If I don’t choose belief and faith, I may settle for
defeat and a return to drinking – even if not actual drinking- a return to
those remorseful or self-pitying behaviors of negativity and unbelief.
My act of faith is the willingness to trust that God knows
best and that He will enable me to make purposeful choices. Then it’s up to me
to do them, whether I want to or not.
