Does it matter if I say hello? Does it matter if I hold the
door? Does it matter if I take my cart back?
Sometimes I wish I could see from God’s perspective. I’m sure that little things become bigger
through His eyes and what is big in my eyes may seem less important to Him. Some days it’s hard to decide what is
important. Making decisions is especially hard for those of us who spent years
under the influence of substances that made all the decisions for us. That is why
I can’t trust myself to go on auto pilot anymore. Drunkenness was auto-pilot. Stress at work always caused an auto pilot
that was angry, overworked, and entitled. Wasted energy spent pleasing others
out of wrong motives caused big-time regret and remorse. How do I avoid making mediocre
or meaningless choices? I want to make
the best choices. There is no worse feeling than to know that I’m off the path.
But then I realize that much of my time is not
spent doing wonderful and spiritually charged tasks. The presence is what is important.
Finding the peace and inner knowing that I’m pleasing to God is the answer.
Just following along with the next assignment can be joyful as long as I’m with
HIM. Yesterday I looked up something on the internet for someone who had no online access. I have a feeling that was more important than I
realized at the time.
When I feel myself sliding into stress mode, I go on a pretend vacation. When I’m on a vacation,
I don’t worry. I just sit in the lazy river. I enjoy, I look, I ask God what’s
next. He always has a plan. The other day He said to take a nap!!! I guess He
doesn’t measure success the way I do.
