Someone I love is
in pain.
I have always ignored pain. I
have always looked the other way. Now I want to comfort this one and I don’t
know how. I have never been the comforting type. Oh, just buck up and be strong. You can get through this. Those are the kind of statements I have made
in my head. I’ve prayed, Oh God, please help him through this and
give him comfort and peace, but I myself have never been an active part of the
comforting. When my kids were little, and they were hurt, they often received
statements from me like, I told you not
to jump on the furniture because you would get hurt. Lessons. It was all
about lessons to fix their pain. Little comfort.
Life isn’t just
lessons. When we hurt, learning must wait until later. When there is pain, life
stops. Life stops and says, I can’t go
on. Pain is a struggle that there
are often no answers for. Pain is lonely and misunderstood. Pain is primary. There is no way around it. It
is very much like the old children’s rhyme, We’re going on a Bear Hunt; I see a lake. You can’t go over it, you can’t
go around it, you can’t go under it. You have to go through it. Swim, swim, swim, swim.
I am
ill equipped to go through pain myself, let alone equipped to help someone
else. God says its simple; If you take the pain up the road, you will find
life; If you take the pain down the road, you will find absolute hell on earth.
Pain that looks up the road allows God to comfort and allows Him to bring
longsuffering. Longsuffering gradually turns to acceptance of the pain without
having full understanding of why or how. That is faith. It is a spiritual act.
One only God can do. In experiencing longsuffering, there gradually comes a
knowing that God is in control and he is able to bring forgiveness, and even
patience out of that pain.
God also says that I can do very little about
pain. It’s His work. But the little bit I do is important. I can come alongside
and pray and believe it will get better. I can tell them I hurt with them. That
is all. I can’t believe that is all I can do, God! That is all.
What about the
hell on earth road?? Well, that one’s
easy. You just let the pain turn quickly (and it will be quickly) into pride, resentment,
followed by more anger, and then bitterness. A person in this state can easily
live the rest of his or her life in woundedness and gnawing pain, with little
relief.
So now that I see this on paper can I ever do it?? Can I move with God to allow Him to comfort
and bring his perspective of forgiveness, willingness to suffer, and acceptance
of that pain??
Can I get in the bucket with a loved one or friend and hurt
with them and pray for God’s comfort, longsuffering, and acceptance? I won’t know until I try. I must try. Even if
I fail, I must try.
