Unconditional love includes kindness and gentleness. This Soft Love may on the surface seem like enabling or accepting the
wrongs done against you. But it is the opposite. Kind love is a tool to break rejection. You can speak the truth in
love and do it gently. This breaks evil. Evil cannot stand when God’s love is
exercised. God gives grace for this, especially when you are looking past your
own surface feelings.
Ingrained patterns of resentment are common - especially
after the drinking years. Behaviors become callous, angry, and even cruel. We
hold on to selfish judgements and are concerned about our own “rightness”. Self-centeredness and a critical
attitude are impossible to cover
up. Responses of impulsive anger are the enemy’s biggest trap, especially
in marriages. We unknowingly heap on more hurt because of our own pain.
The cycle of hurt must be broken. One person has to be first
to abandon the harsh responses. One person has to be first to give up their
pride. One person has to be first to end to the cycle of retaliation.
God says, “A soft answer turns away wrath”. I call this living lower. I don’t like the phrase, “Take the high ground”. That
assumes superiority.
Pray and ask God if soft
love is the first step to the way out for you. It is not easy. It may at first feel like
your own needs are not getting met, but that will quickly change. Your own
needs of getting free of pain and rejection are also tied to kindness and love.
Don’t give up. Stand in the battle. Sometimes the battle is
won with humility and love.
