That word “IF” should never be in an alcoholic’s vocabulary
when it comes to drinking. There is
never a time when drinking is an option. I used to believe that IF
circumstances where good, then I would stay sober. But as soon as a crisis
appeared, my escape mechanism kicked in and I said Well, I have to weather the storm and the only way I know how to do
that is to drink. I’ll just have one…. maybe two….. maybe a few more. I won’t
drink IF my day goes smoothly. I won’t drink IF I don’t have to talk to that co-worker. I won’t drink IF I can
eat a lot of food instead. I won’t drink IF the doctor gives me a good report…
IF my kids behave…. IF my husband is in a good mood…IF my work goes smoothly.
This week I experienced a 12 hour stretch of extreme stress.
Roller coaster emotions triggered the old desire to escape. I found out
that I still desire to minimize uncomfortable feelings and to avoid difficulty.
I thought that maybe this escape mechanism response had finally been beaten but
I found out that I was once again itching to escape. IF this stress keeps up,
I will have to escape.
I am pleased to say that I recently responded very differently
when the escape mechanism kicked in. This time I began to pray. I called someone. I meditated on God’s words.
I sang. I read. I didn’t think about
drinking in order to be relieved of stress. I didn’t even eat sugar or extra
food! I am very pleased to see that
recovery methods work over the long haul. Yes! Things continue to get better.
People sharing strength with other people works. God works. Scripture works. Counseling
works. Prayer works. IF this stress
keeps up, I will be Okay.
