Change. I hate change. Why is that? I think the reason I
hate change is because it’s often unpredictable. I don’t know what will happen
anymore. I like what I like and I build my world around what I like. When change
comes, it disrupts my world. Isn’t that
how it’s supposed to be?
As Christians aren’t we called to give up our own will and follow
Jesus at any cost? Aren’t we called to help others and to love the unlovable? We get blessed and feel loved as we serve God.
We find true life when we give of ourselves
to further God’s kingdom. If that is true, I should be welcoming change that
brings opportunities for me to demonstrate God’s kindness. Instead, I’m holding
a little grudge that God has brought some real change to my life. He is moving me away from friends I
love. I guess the hard part is that I
don’t know what is going to happen. I picture the very worst things happening;
I picture myself lonely and fearful. I wonder if I will be able to make new
friends and find new support for my spiritual growth. One particular friend I
will miss terribly because she has enabled me to climb out of the pit of
despair I was in because of past baggage and addiction. She modeled for me how
to learn to look carefully to see what I really believe about myself and others.
I realized that I have lived like a victim. I am learning to find truth in
place of lies, faith instead of unbelief, and love instead of bias.
Then I realized that I am ready to take on unknown things
and meet new challenges because of the things this particular friend has taught
me. I will be taking a part of her along
with me as I begin a new phase of life. It’s still sad to have a good relationship
removed so that there is little chance of regular fellowship. However, I will
be willing to let God show me how to apply the things I’ve learned to form new
relationships. I can have faith and love for others now. There is a cost, but I
believe there will be gain that will eventually be revealed.
