Only a few years ago I believed that Gods faithfulness was a
provision whereby everything would go as I wanted. My life would be void of
major problems and I would feel happy joyous and free, especially now that I’m
free of alcohol addiction. Thigs will
become easy, I thought. That’s an AA promise, isn’t it?
I have learned however, that God’s faithfulness is much
deeper than surface issues or feeling happy. Sorrow is often a part of our
lives. Difficulty is a part of life. Not getting my own way is a very regular part
of life. Even experiencing great loss is a normal part of life on earth. Suffering
is extremely sad – especially when it’s those we love that suffer. At these
difficult times It is easy to say to God Why
are you doing this? Aren’t I supposed to experience your faithfulness? God’s
answer is that knowing His
faithfulness is beyond feeling and seeing. It is beyond circumstances. It is
beyond happiness that comes from things that aren’t eternal. God’s faithfulness
is the inner knowing that He will see me through and that I am forever changed
because of His faithfulness. The God of this universe is there for me. How will I know His great mercy
except to be able to see it in action – action that requires the experience of
hard things?
There comes faith in God’s goodness even if we know His perfect
will isn’t happening at present. I am stronger because of Him. I am now
courageous where I wasn’t before. I can go through trouble – big trouble in
peace and assurance because my Savior will never forsake me or leave me. He’s
right here “in the bucket” with me. He reaches over, takes my hand and says
“I’m here. I get it. I love you.” Then He
adds, “Things don’t look fair right now, but this part isn’t what’s important.
Eternally there will be gratitude, and yes, even joy when you look back on this
day. I haven’t even begun to unfold my plan. You just wait and see. Watch.
He really doesn’t fail me ever. I have to let Him prove
Himself. I have to wait for His way to shine through. Then hope comes. An answer
comes – maybe an answer that surprises me. If I give up on God, I probably won’t
hear. I probably won’t see it if I quit believing in His faithfulness.
I must be faithful in believing in His faithfulness.
