Drinking was a way out – a way
to put off looking truthfully at situations. Even though I’ve
been in recovery for close to 14 years, I sometimes still look the other way
when something uncomfortable comes along. I avoid getting help or
learning the truth about my fears. I choose instead to believe things will go away if I ignore them.
If I’m feeling afraid of rejection, then I will likely decide not to start a
conversation or to reach out to someone in need; They might not like me. They might rather talk to someone else. They might
rather be friends with someone who is fun, smart, cool... Those thoughts
can go on all day if I don’t interrupt them with prayer.
Fear of rejection leads to the wrong choice. Self-centered
motives keep me from showing God’s love to others. I’ve learned I must ask God for courage and
then press in and take the steps to do what He says to do.
Today there were 2 simple tasks that I felt impressed to do that
would demonstrate love and care for people I know. Yet I found myself wanting
to make excuses. I wanted to do something easy and mindless. Cleaning house seemed
more appealing than to risk feeling rejected. Then I heard God saying to go and
be His hands and feet - to offer encouragement. “Walk through the fear and do it”,
He was saying. “Take courage. It is I”.
So I did. I offered small acts of kindness. Others were
blessed. I was also blessed by receiving the
confirmation that I was a blessing to them. There
is great reward for pressing in to do God’s work.
The choice is to avoid and loose or to be obedient and thrive.
Forward or backward. Death or life. New
courage or continued fear. It becomes simple once I move.
