Motives show us our heart, and for me that’s not always pleasant. It seems like I’ve spent my life trying to get rid of fearful and selfish motives. They continue to pop up. What I’ve been noticing though, is that if I keep asking, God gets the hopes in my head to bring hope to my heart that this transformation can, and is slowly happening.
If I pray from a heart of self-centered fear, my prayers don’t bring much peace or freedom. If I pray from self-love, my prayers sometimes don’t even get answered – at least not that I can see. But if my heart can say, God do what you want. Even if things don’t turn out how I want, You get the glory. Thy will be done. I might remain in discomfort, or even temporary fear, but His ways and His will can win the battle and bring the changes. He causes me to see needs that I can tend to. He causes me to see where I can be His hands and feet. This is the bottom line; that I can love God more than I love myself. Is that ever possible? Maybe. Maybe sometimes. And as I see the good that comes from giving up my selfish ways, I experience purposeful peace. I can trust. I become a part of His merciful plans. If I’m willing to let my pride and weakness show, He will use the surrender to bring about good.
Maybe my scars can keep me humble
enough to let God take those selfish motives. He can replace them with ministry. I may be thought little of, but I could still be large in His kingdom. I may be scarred,
but I don’t have to be selfishly scared.
