Do you ever wonder how others see you? In thinking about my favorite friends during this time of isolation, I realize how much I appreciate kind and caring people. Then I thought, am I anything like them? The answer, I’m sorry to say is no. I have some very outstanding friends. They think of others. They notice when someone hurts. They call or invite people to things. They even seem to be kind to their own family when no one is looking. Now I’m okay-nice to people outside of my home. I want to survive so I try and be friendly and nice. I try and have interest in others. But my family? I don’t always notice the hurt in them. If they ask for help, I’ll think, Why didn’t I see that they needed help? I want to be automatic when kindness is called for.
What about my spouse? God help him. He sees it all! He often lives in a mess of meanness because
of my impulsive actions. That is what is truly telling about someone; what goes
on at home. Hmm. Well, the other day I
swore and threw my phone when my husband was talking to me. Actually, he was trying to help me with technology
and I went ballistic. So why am I confessing this here? Maybe I believe that if
I commit to change in front of readers, I will hold to it. No, I’m not
making a commitment. Rather, I’m admitting I’m human in front of other humans.
I’m pulling back the mask. I need to get the pride knocked out. That’s the
goal. Getting myself to find humility is imperative. I’m saying, I need help!!!
If I say it loud and long to both God and people, I might have a chance of
rearranging my belief. My beliefs are what leads my reactions and behaviors. If I
really deep-down believe that the
kindness of Jesus is more important than my feelings and wants, it can happen.
Jesus said,
Where I am, you may also be.
Whoever believes in me will
do the works that I do.
