I don’t want to fight my own battles anymore. I always screw things up. I can’t remember a battle that I later thought, Well, I sure did that one right. Wow. That was awesome. No, fighting my own battles leaves me feeling defeated and fearful. The truth I always come back to is, His ways are not my ways, His thoughts are not my thoughts. I don’t see like God does. He knows everything.
He knows that the kid doesn’t require punishment, but mercy.
He knows that spending five thousand dollars right now is a bad choice. He
knows that I need rest, not more projects. He knows the irreparable consequences that would come to me if I drank again. He even knows which recipe to use when I’m
having company for dinner.
I can only see these things after the fact. Why can’t I see
them before? It's probably because of my self-centered motives.
Can His ways become my ways? Can His thoughts become my
thoughts?
I’ve discovered that, YES! I can see and know just enough to
follow God’s way if I let go of my own ideas. If I continue to follow His path, I eventually find out many things. I may have
to start out with only a little information. But as circumstances unfold, I may
even see the whys and the why nots.
Fighting a battle HIS way could mean that I basically do very
little. I give it to God, and then do what He says. Sometimes it’s nothing,
sometimes it’s a simple task, sometimes it’s a call, or a prayer, but it usually
requires much less effort and energy than what I would’ve done. I would conjure
up all kinds of pomp and righteous indignation and go marching off to a meeting
with my own agenda. But He, on the other hand says, Wait. Pray. Tomorrow
make the call to that one person. Forgive. Don’t judge. Be bold. Tell
them about me. Don’t fear. Wait again.
