When I was drinking, I wanted God’s help. I wanted to be set free of addiction, but I didn’t want to stop drinking. I longed for acceptance, blessing, and favor, but those things felt removed. I couldn’t do anything to attain freedom. What was I missing? I was missing the fear of the Lord. I wasn’t holding God in awe. I didn’t respect Him as Savior. Though I knew Him as my Savior, I wasn’t giving Him a place of honor. I was treating Him like a person. I needed help, and I wanted to be friends with God. I finally realized that for Him to be my savior, He had to have a higher place in my life. He had to be before everything else. I had gotten used to ME being first, followed by people, alcohol, then God.
I finally got down on my knees, and gave Him back all of me. As a child, I had done this, but now I needed to give Him first place again. The fear of the Lord came over me. I saw that life is a place of constant fear without God in control. When He wasn’t a priority, the doors of fear of evil were open. And I had continually been fearing evil. But now, after I gave Him back all of me, there was a new faith, an acceptance, a blessing that I could feel. I knew I would be protected. I knew I would be free from addiction. I knew I was being cared for by the highest God. I knew that things would go well, and when they didn’t go well, I would have answers. I would have peace no matter what. That is called favor. Honoring God brought favor. The definition of favor is; to be acceptable and to have goodwill.
I have been rescued from alcoholism since January 7th, 2006. The miracle of God's grace and restoration continues to prove itself ~ Kerry