Negativity often comes to us dressed up as truth that we MUST hear. If we don’t desire to listen to certain conversations, we can be labeled as an avoider. My training in recovery tells me that negative topics, especially fear-inducing topics, are a detriment to addiction recovery. Actually, fear and negativity are a detriment to anyone who wants to be emotionally and spiritually healthy. This doesn’t mean that I avoid every piece of negative news. It rather means that I carefully choose what is helpful and necessary. There is that wise teaching that advises us to check before speaking. Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true? Sometimes these are hard to know. But lately I’ve noticed that if I give up my right to be right and my fear of what others think, then I can proceed much easier with deciding what is good for me and those around me. Just because something is true and necessary doesn’t make it kind. If something seems kind, I know to be careful because it may not be true. If I no longer want to be the first to tell of bad news, I’m not pressed to speak quickly. If I no longer am worried about what someone thinks of my views, I’m free to share my heart. If I no longer am driven to be right, I can listen without judgement or anxiety.
I’ve decided that passivity about conversation gets me
immersed in negativity and fear. I can
accidentally get slimed with garbage that others felt they needed to throw my
way.
Vigilance is needed.
